From the other side of the table

“Fresher recruitment drive on Sunday. Calling interviewers for tech. panel”
When I saw this e-mail from HR, I went ‘Yeah right! Ruin a weekend over recruitment? More so, a long weekend? Bah!” Not that I’d planned a vacay to Goa or something, but the “Bah!” was still the loudest word in that sentence I said in my head.

Now, hitting the delete button on any group mail from HR is almost a reflex action for me. They range from stuff on Creative Workspace awards to lectures from the resident doc on back pain! Or about sports club meetings and Women’s day celebrations in the company. Most of which, never holds my interest beyond the first few lines anyway.
I know what u’re thinking. No No, I ain’t the nerdy types who sits and stares at the monitor all day long, while getting up from the chair only to take bathroom breaks. But I ain’t exactly an enthu cutlet either !

So, hit the delete button I did. And the pop-up message that followed did its usual KBC on me– “Are you sure?” it asked .
That was when the visions of my annual goal-sheet crossed my mind. That little one page document which decides my performance rating which in turn decides my salary thru the year which in turn decides how much will be left after my EMI eats up a sizeable chunk which in turn decides how much will go into the savings for my dream vacation which in turn decides how much I get to splurge on completely unnecessary clothes and shoes which in turn…whoa!

One of the things that your manager always does in my company is to set a goal about having contributed in “outside the call of duty” activities like participation in cultural activities or recruitment. Now, singing and dancing is not exactly my cup of tea, so recruitment was a lot more do-able.

And what’s never happened so far with a HR group mail happened. I hit the reply button.

On Sunday, as I stepped into the interview venue a little late , I was kinda overwhelmed by the huge crowd of software wannabes gathered outside. But then, I was relieved, knowing I ain’t one of them anymore. The view from the “other side” was kinda nice. No butterflies in the stomach , No last minute resume reviewing, No last minute mugging, No running to every person that got interviewed before you with a “What’d they ask? What’d they ask?” as soon as he steps out of the door!
All of ‘em freshies looked a lil too preoccupied with themselves doing one or all of the above , until I fished out my company id card from my bag and wore it. That was it. The banter suddenly died down and I was greeted with admiring glances and smiley “Hello” s !
I felt like this ‘khadoos’ professor walking into a noisy classroom.
Wow! And I always thought of my id card as no better than a glorified leash?

I was initially asked to form a panel with one another guy (let’s call him A). Some small talk with this guy, and I discovered we both had worked on similar technologies. So, that meant we couldn’t get away asking actually dumb questions, but still making ‘em sound fancy to each other!

Excerpts.

First guy walks in nervously
Freshie – “Good afternoon sir, Good afternoon ma’am”
A – "Hey call me A man, don’t have to call me sir"
Me (in my head) – “Yeah right, he’s gonna call u A. The poor guy already looks jittery enough , don’t scare him! “
A – “I see you’ve got C on your resume. Tell me, how would you rate your C programming skills on a scale of 1 to 10?”
Freshie (still jittery) – “Err.. .5 sir.”
A (eyebrows forming high arches) – “Just 5? And you are an electronics engineer??”
Freshie looks heartbroken.
Me (still trying to figure out the connection between electronics engineering and above average C skills) – “Uh okay, can you tell us what a preprocessor directive in C is?”
Freshie answers correctly.
Me (pleased) – “Okay can you tell me when you use arrays and when you use structures?”
Bingo!
By now, freshie has calmed down quite a bit and is taking every question head on.
A - “Okay we are done with ur interview, do you have any questions for us now?”
Freshie – “Yes sir , what is the difference between a CMM level 3 and a level 5 company?”
A (in his head) –“Darn! What did I put myself into??!”
A (aloud) – “Err..Umm..CMM expands to Capability Maturity Model..Err..Umm..”
Me (after having sadistically enjoyed A’s predicament for a while) “CMM is blah blah..”
A (To freshie) – “Yeah Yeah, that’s right, so are you clear?”
Freshie (looking at me) – “Yes sir , thanks for letting me know ma’am”
Freshie smiles at A and me and leaves. I bet he said a silent “Gotcha!” for A while he walked out.

A’s now seething , that he couldn’t get to grill the freshie and worse, got beaten up in the end. He pulls out his cellphone and frantically calls a geeky friend
“Yaar Sachin, C++ mein koi khatarnaak questions bol na,” ( Hey tell me some real tough questions in C++)
He jots down a few keywords like inheritance, polymorphism, encapsulation. And I am wondering if he knows anything about those words, other than their spellings?!

Next guy walks in

A (with a know-it-all smile ) - “Okay, u’ve got C++ on ur resume! How do you rate yourself? Can you tell me what polymorphism is?”
Freshie (firmly) - “Yes sir..I rate myself a 9/10” (proceeds to reply with the right answer)
A (cursing himself for giving him an easy one) : “Okay how about encapsulation?”
Freshie (firmly)- “Yes sir..” (proceeds to answer correctly)
A (getting restless) - “Okay how about inheritance?”
Freshie (couldnt have been firmer look)- “Sure sir “ (chimes in with the right answer)
A ( giving up and looking at me) - “ Do you have any questions? Go ahead..”
Me (ROFLing silently in my head )

Another guy

Me (all too enthu to ask first to avoid A’s “how-do-u-rate” charade) - “So what do you know about our company?”
Freshie (sounding like a kindergarten kid rattling off the table of six to a teacher ) - “ ABC is a very big s/w company. It was established on something something..It’s CEO is Mr. So and So. He joined the company on the date something something..”
Me (guffawing with laughter I just couldn’t control) - “Stop Stop, I don’t need an essay on our company.. “
Freshie (in his head) - “Damn! I spent a full half hour mugging up stuff right off their website and she doesn’t even let me finish?!”

After many rounds , I was asked to form a separate “panel” of just myself. I was only too glad to separate from Mr. Smart Aleck.

A “cool dude” walks in. Has 'Attitude' written all over him!

Me - “Could you explain a little about your final year project please?”
Freshie ( as animatedly as he can get) - “You know these switch control boards? They are placed inside every home right? But people don’t know how to use them? So we basically did this project to control them outside the buildings”
Me (after having lost him midway)- “What What What ? And can you give me some technical details?”
Freshie (very matter-of-factly) - “ Well, I didn’t do much in this project, I cant tell you the technical details and stuff..sorry”
Me - ”Okay what was your fave subject in college?”
Freshie (pauses for a long time) - “Hmm..Operations Research”
Me - “So what did u enjoy learning in OR?”
Freshie (very matter-of factly again) - “Oh I don’t remember”
Me (almost said it) - “What the…??”

A real ayyo-paapa looking gal walks in. She’s real nervous and I notice she’s even sweating.

Me (trying to ease her up ) - “Well, don’t be nervous, I won’t ask you very difficult questions”
She (wiping the sweat off her face) - “Ma’am I haven’t eaten since the morning and its 4 now..I am really tired”
Me (to myself) :”Oh No Missy! Don’t u try melting me!”
I swear I almost wanted to recommend her and push her to a restu right away!

Another girl,

Me (at the end of the interview) : “So any questions for me?”
She (very seriously) : “Yes, I am interested in knowing about different products of your company?”
Me (mentioning a software product that we recently sold to a US based bank) “ We have products for all domains – Insurance, Banking ..”
She (still very seriously) “ No, I was asking about salt, cars and soaps etc that your company makes”
Me (aghast, but wondering if she's trying to pull a fast one on me) “ Uh..sure the parent organization has companies that make those, but u are being interviewed for a position in our software services company, not elsewhere”
I thwacked myself for almost recommending her.

And after many many interviews, an eventful day came to an end.

As I headed back home, a thought drifted across my mind.

A vacay in Goa? Wouldn’t have been half as fun!:)