Thursday, May 3, 2007

World Cup Gupshup

It’s curtains for the Caribbean Calypso. And I bet I ain’t the only one heaving a huge sigh of relief. Phew! It’s finally over.


Sure, Ponting and Co are reveling in the glory of their hatrick triumph. Over a brave Sri Lankan side. Yes, “Brave” – that’s what the newspaper called the Lankans. Guess that’s as far as you can get when you’re playing Australia these days.
Seriously, are these guys for real? The way they bulldozed over any given team in the tournament, was there even an iota of doubt in anybody’s mind about who would win the cup in the end? Even if there was, one look at Ponting’s play and that’d be enough to dispel any.
The team will go down as the greatest in the annals of cricketing history..yada yada..yada..But hey, they’ve made the game so monotonous and predictable. All thanks to them, we don’t have the nailbiting, nerve-racking games anymore, that used to keep us all at the edge of our seats. I mean, is there any fun watching a match with them, when you know they’re just going to saunter in and annihilate the opposition , in a rather business-as-usual manner?

Lata Mangeshkar volunteered to step back and let others get a chance to win the coveted Filmfare trophy after there were countless of those bestowed upon her year after year. How I wish the Aussies take a leaf out of her life , lest there be “ho-hum-it’s-Australia-again” endings to the next 'god-knows-how-many' World cups!

Remember the classic Lance Klusener retort at the 1999 World cup when asked about how he felt about screwing up the semi final match for his team?
“(So what?) Nobody die(d)!”
True, that's the worst that could happen.
This year, sadly though, someone actually did. What was initially surmised as a succumbed-to-stress death turned out to be a murder most foul. A respectable coach murdered in the middle of a tournament and all that happens is the players just have one extra black ribbon to wear before they resume business again. What can be sadder than that?

Of course, lesser said the better about our (beaten black and) blue brigade. Their World Cup debacle prompted our irate junta to burn their effigies. But then, it also ended up burning holes in the pockets of many a sponsor! When the “Ladega toh jeetega” Pepsi ads or the “Mind and Body,Heart and Soul” Visa ads proved to be nothing more than money invested foolishly. And these ads being aired like a zillion times before the exit, just added to the sponsors’ expense and to the cricket viewers’ annoyance.
So, when the sponsors realised that they’re just maaro-ing the kulhaadi on their feet by airing their ads calling the team hilarious names like “Team Reliable” , someone in the ad industry came up with this even more annoying idea.
Of churning out ads showing random gully-cricket playing bachhas as future World champions! If you’ve seen the enormously irritating Pepsi gold “Agla World cup hum layenge” ad or the Surf Excel “2015 mein World Cup” ad, you’ll know what I mean!

Like our desi team, Mandira’s cup of woes has been overflowing as well. As though, she didn’t have enough troubles of her own already, making herself look like a complete nincompoop amidst the whos-who of world cricket on her show, the enraged “activists” find a new effigy to burn. Just when she thought she could manage to have everyone’s eyes glued to her noodlestraps and get away with wearing the tricolour on her saree. It quite did not turn out that way, did it? I suspect a certain Shilpa babe is now sulking at the Mandira babe for diverting all the attention of the activist junta away from her!

I wrap up, with my favorite World Cup 2007 anecdote.

G and I are watching a world-cup match where the hapless Bangla boys are being battered mercilessly by the mighty Aussies in a grossly one-sided affair.
A few overs into the match, I turn to him with a “What’s the point?” look on face. My hands stretched out, in the hope that he would probably surrender the remote that he , the compulsive sports freak, would otherwise usurp during the entire length of a cricket match.

The man looks back at me , with a “Don’t-even-think-about-it” glare.

I yell back at him as fiercely, “Come on, it’s not even like, India’s playing” .

Still fuming, he reasons with a straight face,

“ See, that’s exactly the problem . If India wouldn’t have exited the tournament, I wouldn’t have to watch these matches, would I? All thanks to our useless players, I am now forced to watch a team like Bangladesh!”

I don’t exactly remember tying him to the sofa or pinning his eye lashes open with a stapler.
Yet, what do you do when your husband, a full grown adult, makes an argument as “valid” as that?

I, for one, almost fell down from the chair, laughing! :)

15 comments:

Anutthara said...

I wonder if you can expand the reading column width of your blog

Shyam said...

It was a boring world cup :(. Next time, it will be back in the subcontinent. May be ... a Twenty-20 world cup will bring more public from now on.

Lavs said...

A good one….Mandira was out of business for quite some time now that she must be thanking her stars for the controversy created. If she manages to get an arrest warrant, then she would feel top of the world. One thing confuses me though. At the start of this WC, it was announced that Satya Paul would design a saree of flags for Mandira and it would be later auctioned. Why didn’t anybody react then? May be they were sleeping. “Ladega toh jeetega” ads irritated me to the highest extent possible. I am sure that people were even more irritated by such ads in addition to our great team’s performance.

Smi said...

@anutthara
I don't know if the template would allow me to do that..let me explore.

@shyam
Boring.And interspersed with depressing events and meaningless controversies. And a yawn! finale to top it all in the end. I sure do hope the excitement returns to cricket.

@lavs
Thanks!:)
As for the Mandira controversy, all the hoopla is not really about the saree itself, but about the fact that it featured near her feet when she actually wore it!! Talk of inane stuff that activists just rake up in their moments of boredom!!:)

Orchid said...

Ofcourse, couldn't agree more and you must have read some of posts throughout the world cup all based on my woes dues to a Uj's obsession. Your hubby and mien could be twins!!

what give Australia the boot??..i was thinkign we could invite them to have another team..and then it could Aus vs. Aus!!!!...how about that?!!

Anonymous said...

Its my first visit to your blog thru' Toe Knee.

Sometimes being in a totally different world also offers some perspective which is useful & more so, interesting.

Nice , good read.Keep at it

Smi said...

@orchid,
Guess most Indian men are compulsive sports freaks,more so cricket freaks! Ur hubby and mine, alongwith the rest of the junta sure are brothers in arms when it comes to cricket!:)
Aus Vs Aus eh?! Interesting thought..but hey it wud be another "ho hum its Australia again"!:))

@anon
You know, it feels really good to see anon commenters leaving encouraging comments!:)
Thanks for visiting and I agree with ur viewpoint. I guess, thats one of the most interesting aspects of blogging itself, don't u think?

accidental diva said...

Oh I dont think u can really do much when there's a sports fanatic at home right...
As for aussie's winning every world cup, I recently got a sms stating in the nxt world cup there's gonna be only 3 ceromonies namely...
-The opening ceromony,
-handing over the cup to australia
-n the closing ceromony...lol:):);)

Pixie said...

I agree with Shyam - the World Cup was boring and way too long...
And we faced the same problem at home! My husband watched each and every single match - if not completely, atleast the first session!! and the funny thing is - we didn't watch the finals!! the result was way too predictable!!!

Smi said...

@AD
Lol over ur sms!:))
Guess it was this very montony of world cup victories that drove the Foster's(Australian for beer remember?) guys to come up with the perfect punchline - "Australian for Habit"!:))

@Pixie
Alright! Welcome to the sisterhood of "Victimised-into watching-boring-world-cup-matches by-sports-freak-hubbies"! :)

Sunita said...

Mine used to watch the first session of every match.
About Aussie, I really hope somebody can beat them up, even if its Inzy's team.

Smi said...

@sunita
Luck you! G used to religiously watch both sessions everyday, much to my annoyance!:)
Oh yeah, it's high time cricket produced a "David" to pin down this "Goliath"!

Zenith said...

Oops...I feel i was interviewed yesterday! Well you should be happy that you were in the comfort of your home. Imagine us..we went all the way to Antigua to watch the "Bangaldeshis play" and the other adults quite simply refused to leave the stadium even while the match was mind numbing! ;)

How do we know said...

hmm.. can't fight that logic though! :-)) m ROTFL too.

Smi said...

@zenith
Your "Antigua Antics" were so hilarious to hear!:)) I can understand the frustration..
But hey, u got to spend a day in St.Martin's Island..so stop cribbing!:)

@HDWK
Hahaha!:)) The straight face was the funniest part!:))